she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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