How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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