people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
