I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
