Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
