apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
