You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
