I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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