I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
