Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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