he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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