I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
