Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
