Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
