it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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