whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
