suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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