I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
