i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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