It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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