I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
