She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
