the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
