smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
