Only a mothe r could love this liver
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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