No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
