Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
