You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
