Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
