She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
