every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
