why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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