Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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