A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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