there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mom said you looked used
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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