idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
