is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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