why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
