I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
