question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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