id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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