quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
