There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize