Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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