I CAN MOONWALK!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
