I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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