I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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