i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
