Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
