Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
