i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
