so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
