He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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