meet me or not, i'm out of control
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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