THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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