Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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