She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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