Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
