I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
