Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
