the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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