let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
