so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My life is pants optional.
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