I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A+ Viking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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