Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
